Inspiration on a journey again, only this time the carriage is empty. Funny how my moments of inspiration always happen when I am away from home. Tried to make peace with my past but it kept coming back to haunt me so finally I decided to confront it.
There was no sunshine when he had stayed, smelt of whiskey in the early morning, I wondered if the vomit stained vest clinging onto his beer belly was the future I had yet to realise. Disgusted and haunted and afraid. A silent child with no words to speak but “hello”. Oh how life you have robbed me off opportunities to engage in conversation, laugh and play and just be sane, instead I was entertained by the thoughts of death and its companions…or rather depressed at the thought. I remember that summer….the sun added a gold tint to my complexion and I lay on the sofa like a mad man would talking to a therapist, releasing their innermost thoughts to the professional, except there was no one. Just my imagination rewinding and playing death as I saw it. Move 4 years later and I hear loud voices attacking her, fists propelling faster than I could perceive, eyes larger than that ball with the dimples, oh yeah golf, oh yeah I should have taken the catalogue, oh yeah I should run to the door, oh yeah I mustn’t forget her, oh yeah her belly is absolutely round now. Continue reading “Forgiveness is the key….”